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Wanker’s Index

The Wanker’s Index of replies to a Male Escort Ad.

Total loss

“Do you fuck?”, “Are you Gay?”, “What do you do?”, “When can you fuck me?”, “How hard can you fuck me/my virgin arse?”, “Are you discreet?”, “What are you wearing?”, “Talk dirty to me/I’m hard just talking to you”, “How big are you?”, “I’m whispering because the bird’s in the next room”, “I’m straight, do I have to pay?”.

Garden-variety parochialism

“Where are you?”, “You in (customer town)?”

i.e. the “customer” doesn’t care about you or the long-term prospect of meeting you, but rather immediate limitations on the likelihood of using you to achieve orgasm.

Getting ahead of yourself

“I would like to think this could be a regular thing”, “Got £500 here”.

Blank entry, every time

“I’ll pay for your tickets on (day before meeting)”

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Updated Dec/2018 (07867 672229)

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